I will never forget the night I walked into the bathroom and found my teenage daughter dry heaving over the toilet and telling me that if the violent images repeating on a loop in her head were true, then she didn’t deserve to live. I grieved to know that she’d inherited the beast known as Harm OCD.
When I first experienced this form of OCD at the age of thirteen, I had no idea what it was. I thought perhaps I was a murderer and just hadn’t acted on my intrusive thoughts yet. Harm OCD does not mean you are a terrible person or violent. In fact, some studies have shown those with Harm OCD are actually less likely to commit violent acts–the sufferers’ sense of empathy and compassion can actually drive the compulsions.
I am not a medical professional, I am a mom and someone who has experienced this disorder. This blog is not meant to treat or diagnose but to simply share resources, insights, and encouragement.
Harm OCD is treatable.
You can be free.
You are not alone.
“Maybe the person you talk to today doesn’t seem to ‘get it.’ What we don’t know about is the person that individual may meet with tomorrow. What we share, ripples. We don’t know where those ripples lead, but we have faith that they keep going. Thank you to Jeff Herman of the Jeff Herman LiteraryContinue reading ““The Look””
“I want to close the four, take my pen and make one little mark, and I would, too, if I believed that would be the end of it, but it won’t. I’ve been here before…It’s not a number. It’s a trap.” What’s so powerful it could drag you into its lair with a little markContinue reading “Closing the Four”
“It sauntered up to me that night and hissed, ‘Hey, babe, it’s been a while. Miss ya, girl!’ Wink. ‘I’ll keep you safe. Always have, right?’ OCD is that awful, worthless boyfriend we’ve watched our friends make one mistake after another with while we yell at the movie screen that is their life, ‘Don’t fallContinue reading “Lest I forget”